Understanding the Biology of Anxiety: Why Your Feelings Always Make Sense
Anxiety has a way of making us feel like we have to prove that we’re allowed to feel it. We tell ourselves that unless we’ve endured something catastrophic, we shouldn’t be this anxious. But that belief only fuels the problem.
It’s an anxiety-shame cycle that goes something like this:
We feel anxious. Then we question whether our anxiety is “justified.” That questioning creates more anxiety—anxiety about our anxiety. Instead of offering ourselves compassion, we self-stigmatize, adding shame into the mix. And since shame is its own kind of stressor, our anxiety increases, keeping the cycle spinning.
But here’s the thing: That cycle is built on a faulty premise. The idea that anxiety must be “earned” through hardship is complete bullshit. Bullshit for me, bullshit for you, bullshit for anyone who has ever felt anxious without an obvious reason.
Anxiety doesn’t operate like a merit system. It’s not reserved for people who’ve suffered the most. It’s a function of our nervous system—a complex interplay between stress hormones, the amygdala (which detects threats), and the prefrontal cortex (which tries to make sense of those threats).
And here’s where things get tricky: Our stress response evolved to protect us from physical danger—think saber-toothed tigers and food scarcity. But in modern life, our threats are rarely physical. Instead, we face social, emotional, and psychological threats: rejection, uncertainty, failure, perfectionism, feeling like we don’t belong.
The problem? Our brains don’t differentiate between types of threats. That means a looming deadline or a passive-aggressive email can activate our fight-or-flight system just as if we were being chased through the woods. And if your nervous system is already primed for anxiety—whether due to genetics, chronic stress, trauma, or even a poor night’s sleep—those everyday stressors hit harder, triggering a cascade of worry that feels inescapable.
So if you’ve ever asked yourself, Why am I like this?, know that there’s an answer—and it has nothing to do with weakness or irrationality. Your anxiety isn’t a moral failing. It’s your nervous system doing what it thinks it’s supposed to do.
Breaking the Anxiety-Shame Cycle
The way out of the cycle isn’t through self-criticism. It’s through understanding and self-compassion.
When we stop demanding that our anxiety “make sense” and start accepting it as a natural, biological response, something shifts. Instead of fighting against ourselves, we empower our prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation—to step in and soothe the amygdala’s overactive alarms.
And this isn’t just about “thinking positively.” Self-compassion is a biological intervention. Research shows that when we meet our emotions with curiosity instead of judgment, we reduce stress hormones and increase feelings of safety. Over time, that practice rewires the brain, making it easier to navigate anxiety without getting stuck in shame.
So, if you needed permission to stop justifying your anxiety, here it is: You don’t need to prove that your anxiety is valid. It already is.
Anxiety Therapy for Women in Fort Collins, Colorado
Breaking free from the anxiety-shame cycle isn’t just about changing your thoughts—it’s about rewiring how your nervous system responds to stress. If you feel stuck in self-doubt, perfectionism, or emotional overwhelm, I provide specialized therapy for women in Fort Collins, Colorado, designed to help you navigate anxiety with self-compassion and a deeper understanding of your mind and body.
Using a blend of Internal Family Systems (IFS), nervous system regulation, and mindfulness-based approaches, we’ll work together to break the cycle of anxiety and shame so you can build a more supportive and sustainable relationship with yourself.
How Anxiety Therapy It Works:
✔ Step 1: Book a free 30-minute consultation to see if we’re a good fit.
✔ Step 2: Schedule your first session and complete a simple intake process.
✔ Step 3: Start working on your anxiety, gaining insight, and developing self-compassionate strategies that actually work.
Ready to get started? Schedule your free consultation today and take the first step toward feeling more grounded, confident, and at ease in your own skin.
Alexis Ryan, MA, LPCC is a Fort Collins-based therapist who helps high-achieving and high-masking women overcome anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. She specializes in guiding clients toward deeper self-understanding and building more authentic, trusting relationships with themselves, their work, and those they care about. Through a somatic, IFS-informed, and compassionate approach, Alexis empowers women to let go of self-doubt, embrace their values, and live in a more embodied, aligned way.
Outside of her practice, Alexis enjoys exploring Colorado’s trails; listening to engaging literary fiction, cozy rom-coms, and fun fantasy novels; cuddling her tow fur babies; and staying grounded through art, movement, and meaningful conenction with friends and loved ones.